Tuesday, December 9, 2008

There and Back again

I had a wild experience the other night, after my first dose of the chemotherapy "Dr. Rubicen" (doxorubicin), and being totally, utterly saturated with fluids to the point of a cylindrical shape.  It was hard to breathe, laying there.

My room filled with shadows. All my loved ones filed in. You were all there. My brother's voice, Slade, said, "Brandi, this is going to get hard." Karen Bidgood's voice said, "Lay back, you need to get ready."

So I did. I thought, "Is this it? Is it time to go?" My body began to vibrate, and my mind and ears went straight to the most magnificent AUM. 

And then there was silence.

And then my body began to vibrate again, and the my mind and ears were filled with AUM. 

I opened my eyes and I was very plainly in my room, very vividly in this life. My life, with leukemia. This is my life, and it isn't over yet. I'm here to be this now.

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