Tuesday, October 27, 2009


First snow in the valley today. Here comes the mail carrier. He's wearing shorts. Shorts in winter. How Utahn.

The snowfall has made me giddy. I love living in a place with seasons, but it really only works when you have a whole year under your belt and experience the transitions. Randin and I arrived in mid-winter, and to be honest I found last year's cold and snow to be overwhelming and depressing. Like being dropped naked into a snowdrift. I felt some dread that this upcoming winter would set me back. Instead I'm thinking of Christmas trees. Yes, this year I think I'll have a small tree and decorate it with the hindu pantheon (that's a lot of ornaments!).

I'm starting to move around and exercise with some regularity. I have a physical therapist who, for this month at least, visits me and has given me a list of activities to start building strength. I'm a little embarrassed by this. Me, a yogi, a hatha yoga teacher no less, doesn't know how to build strength on her own? Not from this place. I am graced with compassion thanks to this experience. I have not been the most compassionate yoga teacher. The level of physical strength I assumed in my students was considerable. I've never had a student who couldn't do a lunge for example (or that I didn't assume could do one). Now I am a student who doesn't have the strength to do a lunge. I'm beginning from an unfamiliar place and I don't know the way! I'm grateful for my guide, Adam.

I'm a little more than midway through Cycle 9. I will probably begin Cycle 10 November 12th. After that, maintenance for a year. 2009 has been a year of confusion and disorientation! You can tell, just look at my hair!


Horsley Family said...

You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Your blog is beautiful and I am grateful to know how you are doing. Keep fighting. I know you can do it!!!
Love, Amy Marchbanks Horsley

melis said...

Dearest Brandi Marrkapmi,

Have been thinking of you a lot lately. I feel that means that your beautiful energy is stronger now and is reaching us here in your other home Arnhemland.

Noah has your precious crane mobile hanging in his room and stares at the birds flying around, perfectly balanced before he sleeps each day and night. Thank you so much we really do treasure your gift.

You are doing so well. Keep that beautiful smile on your face, if you can and know that we are sending our love to you always. Big kisses to you and Randi (your angel) too xxxxxxxx Lots and lots of love as big as the world - Melissa, Victor & Noah xxxxxxx

Melanie said...

If you do decide to decorate a Christmas tree with Hindu deities, please post a picture! That would certainly be a unique sight.