Sunday, September 19, 2010

2 Years?

Dear Dad,

Two years now, you've been gone. It's funny, you always said that anniversaries of events don't matter, but man I know you were mad when I didn't call on your birthday, or father's day. So that was just bullshit. I wonder how you feel about the anniversary of your death? Does it mean anything to you? I won't know if you're pissed or not because you aren't around to tell me.

Part of me is relieved you haven't been here to witness the events of the last two years. They've been gruesome. Nationally and internationally the economy has caught up to itself. If you weren't already dead you would have died when you saw the stock market crash. 'Course you also would have had "I told you so" rights. Yes, Dad. I lost big time...still we'll see where I stand in 10 years eh? I laugh. I'll see where I stand in 10 years. And, well, people hate Obama. Our fickle nation wants to blame him for everything, as if our country's woes only began on January 2009. You wouldn't believe how much he's aged.

And of course, there's me. I got really sick. You would have hated seeing what happened to me. But I would have loved showing you how brave I could be. I wish you could have seen it. Daddy. It's not over yet of course. I'm a bit crippled these days. I'll be having hip replacement surgery in February. I don't know if I'm afraid of that, or of living for the next five months with this pain. 101 days left before my treatment for Leukemia is over. My first hip replacement surgery is February 1. 134 days to go till then.

But it isn't all bad. Randin and I have been blessed in so many ways. It's remarkable how the worst of times can bring out the best in people. And Oh! Dad! Randin and I bought a house, and we paid it off in full this year. I wanted to call you, and tell you, but well—you know how it is. It wouldn't have been possible to do it so soon had you not left such a generous gift behind. I'm sorry you weren't around to see one of your kids fulfill your wish. That's the way it was meant to be though, right. It was expressed in your will after all. You didn't expect to see it, did you?

Randin is composing music for movies now! And I continue to work for Starfall. Starfall saved my life, Dad. My work saved my life. Here's a quote for you, from Kahlil Gibran:

Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. 

Oh! And as for you, your eye tissue has been used to help someone see! Now, I wonder if the person who got your eye tissue will start seeing the world they way you did?

So that's it. I miss you.